• Grace Ehlers

time for a baby?

"I have found the one whom my soul loves."

Song of Solomon 3:4

I started dating my husband, Harrison, three weeks after we met. We got engaged almost eight months later. Less than five months later, we got married. To put that into an easier and simpler perspective, we met on December 7, 2019 and got married on January 9, 2021.

And with that speedy and stereotypical Christian dating, there comes another stereotype right with it…

So, are we trying for a baby? …

We most definitely are not.

I believe that if a couple has the option to wait on having kids, they should heavily consider it. I will be twenty-one in June. I am so young, and I want to enjoy being married before having a baby. I want my husband and I to continue to grow closer. I want to learn to be a good wife before learning to be a good mother. I believe those go hand in hand. I am a housewife, and I am very happy with the role I play in our house. When little ones enter the picture, we hope that I will continue to be able to stay home and eventually homeschool our children.

Another big Christian stereotype is that we don’t believe in birth control. I can confidently say both my husband and I are all for it. Harrison and I were abstinent before marriage, and when we got engaged, I got birth control put in. We continued our abstinence until we were married. (My opinion on abstinence will be written about soon.)

Being abstinent was not the only thing we agreed on before marrying each other. From the beginning, we agreed not only on how many kids we would want, but we also agreed on how long we wanted to wait. There was no compromising. We had the exact same mindset.

Another reason why we personally are waiting is because of Harrison’s job. Since he travels for months at a time for his work, it would be incredibly stressful with a little baby. I would most likely have to stay back home and care for the baby on my own. Our hope is that Harrison finds a home job with a specific nuclear plant, and we will be able to fully settle down. Another huge plus to fully settling down means that we would finally be able to get a dog together. I think about us getting a dog more than having a baby at this point if that tells you anything. (My little dog, Bo, stays at my parents house, and is very well taken care of.)

There is always that what if we had a surprise pregnancy. What then? To me, there is no “what then?” If God were to give us a baby despite birth control, that baby’s life would have serious value to us. I have one of the most effective birth controls, and if it were to “fail”, I would know that God has huge plans for our baby. It would definitely be difficult at first since our minds are so made-up on waiting, but I know that any baby of ours will be so loved.

We just hit four months of marriage on Sunday, and I couldn’t be more content with my life than I am right now. My life is still so unreal for me. I just want to hold onto every second. I never would have thought that I would be blessed to be a housewife in a financially comfortable home at only twenty. When I think of the goals I have for the future, I have to step back and remind myself to not overlook the present. These are the days I used to pray and dream about. I don’t want to overlook them by pushing too hard for the next phase of life.

In a few years when it feels right, I know that I will love being a mom. Being a mom has been my dream since I could talk. Harrison and I want kids so bad, but we don’t feel rushed right now. I look forward to those days, but for now, I love just loving my husband.


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