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  • Grace Bianco

"little miss perfect"

"... for all have sinned and fall short

of the glory of God

and all are justified freely by His grace

through the redemption

that came by Christ Jesus."

Romans 3:23-24

Before I write “i’m not judging you” and “i waited till marriage”, I want to write this blog about how I am just as human as every single one of you.


“Little Miss Perfect” was a name I was called many times before, and just how I flipped around the name “Party Pooper” for my book… I am going to do it again here.


This blog has taken a lot of thought, because as much as I want to show that I am just like everyone else, I also don’t want to trash myself in the process. I have worked all of my life trying really hard to do what is right in the eyes of the Lord. I have stayed stubborn and stood firm on not giving into many temptations.


HOWEVER, I am only human. I mess up just as much as everyone else does. Just like that Bible verse up above, we ALL fall short of God’s glory, and we ALL sin. I have always been aware of this, and I have spent so much time truly reflecting on verses much like the one up above. This awareness helps me a lot when I see people struggling with their own sin.


I should mention that Christians are supposed to hold other Christians more accountable. Our moral compass is much more different from that of a nonbeliever. If they do not believe in God, they aren’t going to feel obligated to follow the “rules”** of Christianity. I will not be getting into this topic a whole lot in this blog but look out for “i’m not judging you” that I hope to write soon.


The point I am trying to get at is the second someone’s sin is different from mine… I feel like I am given a mirror. Instead of seeing their sin, I see all of mine. Recently, a friend confessed something to me and expected me to scold them. I listened to them bubble over with how they believed I would have responded. I explained, “How can I point a finger at you when I have a hundred pointing at me?”


I don’t want this blog to turn into “i am not judging you”, but I did want it to be clear that I do not see myself any better than those around me.


I don’t believe I am perfect. I have never wanted to be someone who acts perfect on social media. I am not perfect. My life is not perfect. I don’t want to put a fake face on when my blogs are centered around my trials and faith. I don't want to be someone people feel they can't go to, because I might look down on them.

For example, did you know the Bible says, “Do not be afraid”, in some variation around 365 times. Yet, I live my life in almost constant fear. I have to push myself every single day to trust God. When people don’t suffer from anxiety, I have a hard time wrapping my head around that. From the time I was 4 to now almost 21 years old, I have had this internal and mental battle going on in my head. If I got a dollar for every time I was told, “Trust God”, I’d be a millionaire. If I got a dollar for every time I got frustrated by hearing that, I would have a couple thousand dollars.


Anxiety is hard enough. Sprinkle in some guilt and I feel like I can’t keep up with my mind. There have been times I have felt guilty for using other coping mechanisms besides God to feel better, and I have felt defeated by the guilt wrapped around me. I get angry with myself when I feel myself start to lose my grip on my busy mind. The phrase “Trust God” can either be taken as advice or a finger being pointed at me as if to say “You aren’t trusting God enough”.


I have shared my journey with anxiety MANY times in many blogs and have even written an entire book ("Party Pooper: Growing up with Anxiety" eBook and paperback available on Amazon). If you have followed my journey, you know that I got here because of my faith in God. If I get to share my testimony with a nonbeliever, I express that I don’t how I could have kept going without God. I have never taken any medication (nothing against medication AT ALL… speaking for myself). My medication has and always will be just God.


But I still get afraid, worried, and feel consumed by fear, and God still says, “Don’t.” So, even though being told, "Just trust God", is a completely normal and justifiable statement, it can be hard to not get defensive. I believe I trust Him, but yet, I worry like no other. At times, God has to set us straight. Most of the time, I don't think they are judging me for being scared, but simply are guiding me back to the one who can help me.


Of course, anxiety is not my only flaw. Sometimes, I get angry. Sometimes, I gossip. Sometimes, I put myself before others. The list goes on just like every single one of us. A sin is a sin. It’s up to us to strive to be better and repent. We live in a fallen world, and with that, we are fallen beings.

So when I write blogs about my opinions and when I write blogs about judgement, remember… I see my own reflection. I don’t see myself as perfect or anything even close to it. Most of the time, I am calling myself out in blogs and reminding myself to fix the cracks in my hearts. The only way to fix the cracks is through Jesus, who wipes are sins free.

** I am using the word “rules” very lightly. I wouldn’t say as a Christian I feel like my life revolves around simply just obeying “rules”, but that my obedience brings glory to God and it will be rewarded one day in heaven. But that is a topic for another blog and I am just simplifying it for the purposes of this blog.


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Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog! I have another blog page where I post way more frequently on there as well. Check it out @ gracekbianco.medium.com !!


If you have any questions / comments about this blog or any of my other blogs, feel free to reach out. You can message me through the blog, email me, dm me, and/or comment down below. Don’t forget to scroll to the bottom of my website to subscribe to my blog! And as always, you are ALL loved and appreciated!!! <3 <3 <3

PEACE OUT UNTIL NEXT TIME!!!!

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